Die Now
by RaichuTec
Summary: Why can't things just be simple? That's what Irvine wonders.


**Die Now**

  
  
Deling lights shone so brightly that the stars above weakly glittered, faint and wraithly in their heavenly abodes. Irvine lamented not being able to see them, not like their sojourn to the Tomb of the Unknown King. Everything had been bright in the night skies then, and he enjoyed any excuse to avoid tomorrow's big mission. For a moment, the gunman closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cool glass of the window in front of him. The Deling hotel didn't have a balcony, and that left him with just a perch at the far end of the room, pulling a chair around so he could sit and think. The others talked among themselves, making plans and arguing or giggling out of the blue. How well they all got along, even Squall fit in, no matter that he tried so hard to be cold to them. Irvine, of course, was the odd man out.   
  
None of them recognized him, and that didn't help. Not Irvine Kinneas. Oh, but he knew all of them, remembered blurry faces of youthful children. Bossy Quisty, spunky Sefie, crybaby Zelly, and even the brooding and quiet Squally. He thought perhaps to remind them, but things were happening so quickly. Wham bam, thank you ma'am, here they were in Deling. And tomorrow he had to take a shot at their Matron. How would they feel if he told them that? If they remembered? Better they stay in the dark over it. Let Irvine carry that burden alone.   
  
"Hey, Irvy-- you don't mind if I call you that, right? Um, why are you sittin' here all alone?" Selphie's chipper voice derailed his train of thought. Startled, he looked away from the window, reaching up to rub at the spot where his forehead had been pressed against the glass.   
  
"Er, nothing, um, why?" he lied. She giggled and her eyes sparkled like emeralds, precious gems set in a doll-like face. If she only knew how he felt about her, what she meant to him. He looked away again before the temptation overcame him.   
  
"You're almost as broody as Squall is. Come on, cheer up. I know tomorrow won't be easy but it's totally necessary," she said, grabbing the edge of a chair to drag it over and sit beside him. A hand on his leg alerted him to how close she was, the faint scent of floral perfume invading his senses. Now, Irvine's reputation labeled him quite the ladies man, but Selphie did something to him that made him want to follow her around like a puppy dog. Chasing other women paled in comparison, no matter how hard old habits died. He smiled at her faintly, resting a hand atop hers, avoiding the urge to grin as a faint blush touched her cheeks and she had to look away briefly.   
  
_Die now._ The voice came out of no where and Irvine blinked as he realized it was not the Guardian Force that loomed at the back of his mind. He wasn't sure where it came from, but he immediately understood what it meant. Die now, while he had Selphie near him and life seemed... promising. Before tomorrow when fate would send him catapulting out into the great unknown. Die now, and die happy.   
  
"Irvy...?" Selphie said quietly to get the gunman's attention again. He blinked and shook his head, trying not to look pensive, to betray the conflicting emotions that ran through his head.   
  
"Nothing, just totally distracted by having such a pretty girl near me," he replied, forcing a grin to cross his face. She snatched her hand back then, scrunching up her face in such a manner as to make her twice as cute as before.   
  
"Ooooh, you just never stop do you, Irvine Kinneas," she said, getting back to her feet. She paused briefly though, looking at him in a manner that made him nearly shiver. Did he love her? The moment broke before he could answer himself and Selphie patted his shoulder, exhaling softly as she tried giving him a reassuring look. She understood why he flirted. It was a protection, so she wouldn't see the mess he was inside. "It'll all turn out ok, you'll see."   
  
That said, she returned to the rest of the group, chattering between Quistis and Rinoa. Irvine sighed, setting his forehead against the cool glass again. _Die now..._ the voice sighed, mourning a lost opportunity. 


End file.
